I wanted to share my opinions on a book that was given to me as a gift before I got married (as part of a box full of many helpful gifts from my lovely cousins in the US). I was given a number of books from friends/loved ones regarding marriage but this, which I only began to read after my wedding, I appreciate the most.

5 languages of love – basically, your guide to being in a relationship. With another person. For life. I think it’s integral if you are ‘in it for the long run’, which of course would be referring to you all.

The 5 languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people

2. Acts of Service – For these people, actions speak louder than words

3. Receiving gifts – For some, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift

4. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention

5. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch

For me, it was the best ‘dummy’s’ guide ever, after having already gained an Islamic outlook on marriage in terms of rights and duties. This concept was a lesson for life!

Written by Dr Gary Chapman, this marriage counsellor spells it out to you from the beginning what it means to be spending your life with another person. I became enthralled as soon as he explained that like a person speaking solely Chinese finds difficulty in understanding a person who speaks solely English (or even little of each, or vice versa), partners in a relationship will find it difficult when they are speaking a language of love that is not the same as their partner’s language of love. It just made sense. But what were they? what was mine? What was my husband’s? So I read on to get an idea.

I won’t go into detail about my reading experience except that there was so much I could relate to throughout.

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After reading the book, and taking a quiz on it, we have tried and tested this whole concept and can absolutely agree that speaking the language of your partner works wonders in your relationship. I’m not going to lie, I have many moments of stubbornness or when I just get plain lazy and want to interact in the way I want to be interacted with if I interact at all.

But ultimately, I have found that of the time we are having little tiffs, it is because we are not doing enough speaking to each other in the way most preferred by the other. However, the difference when my husband and I DO communicate with each other in the language that best fits our partner’s, I am telling you the results are comparatively a lot more positive.

[amazon text=Get The Book On Amazon Here&asin=1415857318]

As I mentioned, we will make mistakes and fail to do what isn’t in our comfort zone, or natural demeanor (though is for our partner) 100% of the time but I think that for every couple it is definitely worth defining your partner’s predominant language of love, and being aware of it. I say predominant, because though we speak each of the 5 languages the Dr addresses, one or two means a heck of a lot more to us.

Anyway, I know you’re all curious to find out what you/your partner speaks…so please follow the link below where you will find details on the book, the author and most importantly a quiz that tells you what your love language is! So if your spouse doesn’t want to read a book (or you don’t either) then this will nevertheless suffice!

Amaara Khan

The 5 Languages of Love – The Book You Need to Navigate Relationships