Ditch Your “Friend”

by Selina Bakkar in Relationships on 19th May, 2017


Do you feel like your self-esteem has taken a knock and you don’t value your self?

Whilst I am a big believer that we as women do have to work on our selves hugely there can sometimes be external variables that influence our perception of ourselves and thus erode our confidence.

Me and a sister were speaking about the sisterhood and friendships yesterday and I realized that I have lost touch with some people from my past, often I accounted it to myself and I was that bad friend, but I have realized that those friendships weren’t helping me in terms of my confidence. No one likes to be laughed at or be the center of others people insecurities and this can happen. People can project their own insecurities on to you and erode your confidence.

If your reading this post and are thinking about someone who you feel is not building you up by constantly breaking you down, it’s time to step away and review your relationship. Often fear of what others think makes us stay in unhealthy relationships but the most important thing and person is you. What do you think about how you are treated? Allah asks us to be just with ourselves. Are you being just?

If you are unsure about the friendship, here are 3 ways where you can tell.

  1. You over think your opinions, thoughts and views and at worst just don’t express any for fear of a negative response or reaction
  2. You feel like you are not listened to and this also translates into physical behavior such as ignoring comments you make or dismissing opinions.
  3. One sided conversations
  4. When they don’t celebrate your wins

When we are embarking on friendships there are also a few key things we should look for, they should be qualities to enhance you and compliment you too. Friendships can shape your life so choose wisely or you may loose yourself. I recently saw this reminder and felt it’s also a good way to check your frienships.

The Prophet (sa) said to choose 3 type of friends:

1. Whose speech increases you in knowledge
2. Whose presence causes you to remember Allah
3. Whose actions cause you to remember the Hereafter

Selina Bakkar

Selina Bakkar

Co-founder of Amaliah. Selina is passionate about empowering those around her. She loves gardening and a good cuppa. She is also Co-founder to Aishah and Eesa. To join the Amaliah Writers Community email me at [email protected]

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