We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Dear Aunt Maya,

I made a decision to step out of my 24 months inconstant relationship today. I stepped out because despite the love we have for each other, there’s just always one misunderstanding or the other every week. I am trying to be strong, to visualize the rainbow at the end of the tunnel. To move on, I just need practical advice on how to do this. Thank you.

Maya Areem Responds:

Salaam alaykum,

Firstly, I want to say well done for taking the step to reach out and it’s a sign of your willingness and wanting for things to get better.

Now, I’m sure things have been difficult, the end of relationships or anything in life can carry a lot of emotions. May Allah grant you ease during this time and facilitate healing for you Insha Allah. Ameen

Here are a few things I want to say:

1. Make dua for the above, there is no dua that is too small or large for Allah to answer.
2. From your message I am unsure of the nature of the relationship but if it was romantic then look at your intention and realign it to be one that is pleasing to Allah. When we leave anything for the sake of Allah, Allah grants barakah to us.
3. Grieve: The end of anything and especially relationships can carry the emotion of grief with them. It is important to ensure that you give yourself the space and time to grieve and close the chapter.
4. You seem like a hopeful one open to change and improvement in your life so continue to believe in yourself.
5. Remind yourself that in every door that closes there is hiqmah in it.

A few other things:

• Surround yourself with good company which includes the thoughts that occupy your mind. 
• Keep turning to Allah through Salah and other acts of ibadah that you find comfort in and strengthen your imaan.
• Make plans with friends and family
• Reflect on who you want to be, when a relationship has been draining it can also affect your sense of self. 
• Dua, dua, dua. Keep turning to Allah for comfort and strength through this time. 

You are in my duas and hope and pray that your new chapter in life is filled with beautiful discoveries with yourself and a consistent relationship with yourself and your creator. 

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.