We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.
We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.
Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!
Dear Aunt Maya,
I’m a single and working 29 year old woman and I’ve been looking to get married for ages; however, no one is interested in me and I often get that being a non-hijabi, no man or his family will be interested in me. Hijab is one of my struggles, but I am a practising Muslim woman who is always trying to be and do better. Is there something wrong with me? Do I wear the hijab in the hope someone will notice me? I’m losing hope and I really have so much love to give and I want to receive it too.
Maya Areem Responds:
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns with us. I want to assure you that the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing are both common and valid. The journey to find a life partner can be filled with its own set of challenges and uncertainties, and it’s completely natural to have moments of doubt and frustration.
First and foremost, it’s important to recognise your own self-worth and value as a person. Your identity isn’t solely defined by your marital status or your choice to wear the hijab. You are a unique individual with your own strengths, virtues, and qualities that make you who you are.
It’s also important to approach the decision of wearing the hijab with authenticity and sincerity. Your decision should come from a place of genuine conviction, understanding and with Allah at its heart. While it’s natural to consider how certain choices might impact your prospects in marriage, it’s essential to remember that your relationship with Allah and your faith come first. Authenticity in all aspects of your life, including your appearance, is a key factor in attracting the right partner who appreciates and values you for who you truly are.
I suggest you immerse yourself in understanding the hijab, talk to scholars who understand and can explain it in its entirety, discuss with friends and family who practise it and make istikhara. Perhaps this doubt has been put into your heart to help you get closer to Allah, to learn more about your deen and to find contentment in His words and remembrance. All that we have is bestowed upon us by Allah, including our spouse. So turn to Him first and foremost with the aim to please Him alone.
Throughout your journey, practise patience and trust in Allah’s plan. Sometimes, what we desire may not unfold as quickly or in the exact way we envision, but Allah’s wisdom surpasses our understanding.
May Allah grant you ease.
Love + duas,
If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.