We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya. I’m 32 and feeling completely stuck. All my peers seem to be buying houses—many of them as couples—and every time I go online, it’s another photo of keys in front of a front door or someone painting their new place. At work, people talk about using inheritance money or help from their parents for deposits, and it just feels so far from my reality. As a Muslim, I don’t want to get into interest or a mortgage, but that makes the goal of owning a home feel even more impossible. I’ve been trying to save what feels like an impossible amount while dealing with rent, bills, and just…life. It feels so unfair. I know everyone’s timeline is different, but it’s hard not to feel disheartened when everyone else seems to be hitting milestones I’m nowhere near despite working so hard. I can’t help feeling like I’m falling behind.

Maya Areem Responds: 

Asalamu Alaykum,

Thank you for opening up about what you’re feeling. It takes strength to articulate frustration and comparison—especially when it feels like life is moving forward for everyone else while you’re standing still. You’re not alone in these emotions—many of us grapple with the weight of societal expectations and the pressure to hit milestones that seem increasingly out of reach. But let me reassure you: your value is not tied to owning a home or achieving the same goals as others. Life’s journey isn’t a race, and it’s okay to walk your own path at your own pace.

It’s easy to feel disheartened when comparison creeps in, but it is important to remember that everyone’s circumstances are different, even if it looks like people are surpassing you financially or independently. Social media and conversations at work often show only the surface, while hiding the challenges, sacrifices, and pressures behind the scenes. 

If scrolling through homeownership posts triggers feelings of inadequacy, it might help to curate your online space or take a break from social media altogether. Looking after your mental and spiritual well-being is as important as striving for your goals. Guard your heart against the trap of comparison. Everyone is on their own timeline, and you don’t know what others may be wishing they had when they look at your life. 

Reminding yourself that you are more than your achievements or possessions is also important. You are not defined by what you don’t yet have, nor by how others perceive your progress. Often, we use things like homeownership as a form of validation, but it’s crucial to give yourself love and validation in your current state. Be kind to yourself. Celebrate the fact that you’ve worked hard, saved, and stayed true to your values, even when it’s felt impossible. That’s a sign of resilience and strength.

Your journey is unique, and the milestones you’re striving for are no less significant. Just because they’re taking longer doesn’t mean you’re behind. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Be patient with yourself, have faith in the bigger picture, and trust that Allah ﷻ’s plan for you is more beautiful than you can imagine. And while you work towards your goal, nurture gratitude for what you already have. Creating a peaceful and content space where you are now can make the waiting feel more manageable.

If feasible for you, maybe consider some practical ways to ease the weight you’re carrying. You might want to explore halal alternatives to homeownership, such as Islamic financing or creative, collaborative solutions with trusted family or friends for the future.

The global reality is that so many people, for different reasons, are in the same position as you—trying their best, juggling responsibilities, and making tough choices. There is no shame in this. It’s also worth noting that the way people live is changing. Renting has become a more practical option for many, not just because of financial barriers, but because it offers flexibility. For some, it’s even a preferred lifestyle—choosing locations, reducing responsibilities like maintenance, and focusing on experiences rather than ownership. While the rental market has its own challenges, so does taking on a mortgage, and both options carry risks and vulnerabilities. The key is to remind yourself that neither option defines your worth or success.

Focus on your own journey, and whenever feelings of inadequacy arise, remind yourself of the unseen barakah in your choices. The commitment to avoid riba is a decision to be proud of, even when it feels challenging. The sacrifice you’re making now is planting seeds for a reward far beyond anything this world can offer. Continue making dua to Allah for barakah in your provision. You can find some helpful duas here: 8 Duas for Wealth, Provision, Debt Relief & Other Money Problems. Allah promises,

“And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them, and provide for them from sources they could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them.” (Surah At-Talaq 65:2-3)

Above all, give yourself grace. It’s natural to feel frustrated or even envious at times. When those feelings arise, turn to Allah in du’a and pour out your heart. Ask Him for ease, contentment, and provision from sources you can’t yet imagine. Trust that your efforts, paired with tawakkul, will lead to a destination that’s better for you than anything you could have planned.

Love + du’as,
Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.