We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam, Aunt Maya. I struggle with the concept of hijab; I don’t wear it, even though I believe it’s part of the religion. I’ve made efforts in other areas of my faith, like praying regularly, fasting, etc, but sometimes I feel confused about not covering and get pangs of guilt. Sometimes I wonder if the good I try to do even matters. Am I still a good Muslim if I don’t wear the hijab? Is there space in Islam for someone like me who is trying, but doesn’t connect to this particular aspect of it?

Maya Areem Responds: 

Asalamu Alaykum,

Thank you for writing in with such honesty. Your question shows that you are actively engaging and reflecting on your faith. The path to Allah ﷻ is not always a straight line, but one of return, effort, and nuance.

The struggle with hijab is not an unusual one. However, it is also not the only one. Different people find different obligatory acts challenging. For some, it’s wearing the hijab; for others, it might be praying all five daily prayers, and for others still, fasting may feel especially difficult. We are all flawed human beings, and none of us practice Islam perfectly all the time. Perfection belongs only to Allah. 

It’s important to remember that Islam is a journey of the heart as well as the body. Praying, fasting, seeking knowledge, and even feeling guilt are all signs of an active and alive iman. According to scholarly opinion, wearing the hijab is indeed a clear obligation, but not wearing it does not negate all other acts of worship or make you “not a good Muslim.” Falling short in one area does not remove someone from the fold of Islam.

Allah reassures us in the Qur’an of His guidance and support as long as we strive in His path. (Surah Al-Ankabut 29:69). Every small effort counts, and Islam makes room for that struggle. 

Our Lord knows us better than ourselves. He knows your strengths, hesitations, and fears. What He asks of us is effort and sincerity. When we struggle with a command, we are still called to hold its truth, even if we fall short in practice, and to keep returning to Him. The guilt you feel may not be comfortable, but it can be a mercy if it softens your heart and keeps you turning back.

It might help to shift the question from “Am I a good Muslim?” to “Am I still journeying towards Allah?” For one, we’re not in a position to judge ourselves; that’s for Allah alone. And goodness isn’t measured by perfection; it’s measured by repentance, humility, and intention. Imam al-Ghazali said that even a single step towards Allah is better than standing still.

If you ever reach a point where you’re ready to explore hijab, try doing so not as a checkbox but as a conversation between you and Allah, and a sincere intention to build a connection with Him. Perhaps you can turn the guilt you feel into an intention, as the guilt could be a sign of something you want to do subconsciously. You can read our advice on how to get started in ‘Unsure About Starting Hijab’. 

But even now, without it, don’t let Shaytan make you feel like everything else you’re doing is void. Despair is often a greater obstacle than sin itself. 

Be kind to yourself. Keep making du’a, and sincerely ask Allah to guide you; to expand your understanding, soften your heart, and keep you steadfast on the deen. May He ease your heart and grant you clarity. Ameen.

Love + Du’as,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.