I recently saw a TikTok trend showing videos of parents enjoying different moments with the caption “It’s their first time living too.” And it hit me right in the feels. As a child, it is natural to think that our parents have the answers to all of life’s problems. However, as we start to navigate the deep end of the pool called adulting, realisation slowly dawns that our parents aren’t the experts of life we usually imagine them to be. Every stage of life is new for them, too, and they’re figuring things out in real-time, just like us. The difference is that we have access to many things, especially spaces, that they never did, and a chance to try out different hobbies, take random classes, or spend weekends “just for fun.”

While we’re out here dragging the girlies to pottery classes, hiking trails, and pilates sessions, our parents are often left on the sidelines, content to watch us explore the world in ways they never could. However, it’s never too late to bring them along and share the fun. 

When my parents first visited me after I moved out, they were happy just to stay in and observe me live the life they had envisioned for me. Every activity suggestion was met with resistance, especially on my mum’s part. However, slowly and persistently, I was able to take my parents out of their usual routines and comfort zones and enjoy some wholesome activities together. Getting to see the joy on their faces as they experience something for the first time has not only been heartwarming, but it has reminded me that they aren’t just my parents: they’re individuals with their own likes, dislikes and dreams too. 

1. Be their Private Chef 

My mum’s delicious food is a core part of my childhood memories. I can still taste those warm and hearty meals she served us as soon as we’d come back from school, and the ones she’d pack for me when I was newly married and missing home. After having my own kids, I have realised how much love and care actually went into those endless meals and lunchboxes. And after years of my mum asking, “What should I make for dinner?”, I feel she now deserves nights where her only job is to sit back, relax and savour the meals she likes. 

I started hosting my parents every other weekend, making it special with candles and flowers. Some days I recreate my mom’s and grandma’s recipes, and other days I cook new ones that I know my parents would love to try. My latest was a summer BBQ and a Chinese food night, where my dad declared there is no need to go to a restaurant ever again! Seeing them sit down and enjoy their dinner over shared laughter and warm conversations, instead of worrying over hosting responsibilities, has brought us all immense joy and delight. 

At the end of the night, I pack up the leftovers for them with a firm reminder to return my tupperware, and life comes full circle!

2. Try a Fitness Class

For many of our parents, exercise and movement have always been about necessity rather than leisure. 

Maryam is a personal trainer who enrolled her parents at her gym randomly on a whim. “My parents resisted the idea at first, but I insisted that they try out one class. It has been a year, and it’s now the highlight of their week! It’s a small gym, so everyone knows each other. They love chatting with everyone around and talking about how strong they feel. My mother enjoys the yoga classes and looks forward to them the most. Hearing them compare notes about the weights they’ve lifted at the end of every class is so cute. Bringing them here was the best decision I’ve made.”

Next time you are going to the gym, try bringing your parents along for a gentle pilates, aqua aerobics or yoga class. As long as they’re moving under the watchful eyes of a trainer or instructor, they’ll feel safe doing it. Moving simply for the sake of enjoyment can bring much-needed playfulness to their days. 

3. Take a Walk While Getting to Know Them 

For many years, my parents were extremely busy, rushing around and fretting over their day-to-day and to-do lists. A relaxing day out in nature, doing absolutely nothing, sounded unproductive and silly to them, until we started dragging them out, much like we have to do with my teenager. The perfect recipe for a day out with my parents includes fresh air, sunshine, sounds of water, snacks and a thermos of chai. 

Every time we go out with my parents, I challenge the kids to interview them and find out something new. We ask them questions about their childhood, their friends, the years that defined them, the good, the bad and the best moments of their lives. There is still so much we don’t know about the people they were before they became parents. Do they have any regrets? What’s the one thing they always dreamed of doing? When was their best summer and why? Are there any skills they wish they had? It has taken some time, but they have gradually opened up, and we’ve gotten to know a whole other side of my parents. It’s also a great way to build up family history and archive cherished memories.

The idea of a day out in nature lights them up now, and these slow, leisurely afternoons have led to some wonderful intergenerational bonding.

If you’re looking for a low-key and chill hangout with the whole family, try outdoor picnics, short hikes on local trails, sitting by the lakeshore or even a foraging trip; these are rejuvenating for all ages. 

4. Plan a Trip with Them

One of my earliest memories from my childhood is of my fourth birthday, when our parents took us to northern Pakistan for a trip. Even though I don’t remember much as a four-year-old, that trip, the winding roads and the awe-inspiring mountains are still seared in my mind. All these years later, travelling with my parents feels just as special, but in a completely different way. Seeing the world through their eyes as they view things from another stage of life gives you a fresh perspective. 

I have travelled with my own parents as well as my husband’s, and my advice would be to focus on what they enjoy the most. My parents are big foodies, so we make a point of trying out different restaurants wherever we go. My in-laws, on the other hand, are happy with anything as long as there are museums or historic cultural sites to wander through. Thankfully, all of them enjoy scenic views.

This summer, we found the perfect balance by booking a lakefront cottage in the countryside large enough to accommodate both families. We loaded up the cars with enough food to feed a small army, and off we went. For three days, we fished, relaxed at the beach, played games, visited a nearby historic house museum, cosied up with s’mores and stories around a bonfire, and tucked into plenty of pre-prepped home-cooked food. Watching everyone’s inner child come out as they enjoyed a truly carefree holiday was pure joy and proof that we all need a mini adventure once in a while. 

If you have ever visited a new place and thought, “I wish mum or dad could see this”, then this one’s for you. Whether it’s a day trip to a nearby city, a weekend getaway, or visiting different local mosques and soaking up their history and charm, travelling as adults with your parents is a great way to share some quality time.

5. Enjoy a Standup Comedy Show with them

For many of us, our immigrant parents didn’t have time for frivolity or joy, especially when it came to theatre or comedy shows. But thanks to the rise of incredible Muslim comedians today, who are bridging the generational gap by gently poking fun at both sides, you might find yourself bonding with your parents while also giving them a bit of well-earned catharsis through laughter. 

If you think your parents would enjoy theatre plays more, keep an eye on smaller venues that regularly feature POC writers and actors, like the Bush Theatre, the Young Vic, and others. Last year, the Kiln Theatre showcased Suhai­ma Manzoor-Khan’s debut play, Peanut Butter and Blueberries, an uplifting, honest, and funny take on young love, faith, and identity. Plays like these are perfect to watch with the girlies – and don’t forget your mum is a girlie too!

Honestly, there’s nothing more wholesome than seeing your parents laughing hard and enjoying themselves freely. Particularly when we come back and giggle over the jokes days later. 

6. Family Games Night 

I have so many memories of lazy Sunday mornings playing Carrom and Ludo with my grandparents and cousins, snacking on French fries while they enjoyed their copious cups of tea. So this summer, when my kids brought out Ludo and asked my parents to play, it instantly took me back to my childhood. The problem was that I didn’t have a lot of memories of my parents playing with us. 

Friday nights are now game nights in our home, where we order takeout and play games. Now that competition is involved, I have seen a whole other personality of my parents come out, and nothing bonds us all quite like arguing over the rules in Ludo, Scrabble or Monopoly. 

If you don’t like staying indoors, then do what Fatima does: “Once a month, my mum and I go to the arcade and turn into total kids again over Pac-Man, pinball, and air hockey. She’s extremely competitive, and it’s always a blast playing against her to see who collects the most tickets. Whoever wins, treats the other to dinner!”

Our parents have spent a lifetime working, planning, and taking care of everyone else. Maybe it’s now our turn to plan things for them and give them days where they don’t have to think about the how, where, or what time. Life goes on, regardless of what we do or don’t, but putting thought into the time we have and making it meaningful by experiencing simple pleasures as a family can bring so much happiness and laughter into our days, and honestly, we all deserve that.