We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya, Last year, I decided to finally go after my dream and set up my own business. I put everything into it, my time, energy, and all my savings. I worked so hard, but after a year, it just didn’t take off the way I hoped, and I’ve had to close it down. I feel heartbroken and ashamed. This was something I wanted so badly, and now I can’t help but feel like a failure. I’ve lost all my savings, and I don’t even know how to start rebuilding, both financially and emotionally. How do I come to terms with this?

Maya Areem responds:

Assalamu Alaykum,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. 

I’m really sorry to hear how things turned out. Starting a business is no small thing; what you did took an incredible amount of courage and grit. You are braver than most people for taking that leap of faith and going after what you wanted.

It’s understandable that you feel heartbroken right now, but please know that failing at something doesn’t make YOU a failure. Many people never even try because of fear. You were passionate about something, took a risk on it, and it didn’t work out as planned – which is what has happened to many successful entrepreneurs before you. Failure is part of the process. Even though it feels difficult in the moment, it can teach you much more than immediate success ever will. Perhaps it could help to try shifting your perspective from “I messed up” to “What can I genuinely learn from this?”

I know how disappointing it can be when, despite working hard and pouring all your time and energy, things don’t turn out the way you planned. Perhaps in ‘failing’ in this endeavour, you are actually being saved from something, or guided to something better. 

Allah ﷻ says in the Qur’an, “Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

We also believe that Allah’s plans are better than ours and inshAllah He has something better in store for you. 

For now, take things one step at a time. It’s okay to pause and grieve what you’ve lost. Building a business is tough and exhausting, and you may also be feeling burnt out, which is natural. If it’s possible for you, try talking to a therapist. As supportive as your family and friends can be, they usually do not understand what an entrepreneur goes through and the stresses it all holds. Having someone dedicated to talking to you about it can help immensely.

You can also try reading books or listening to podcasts by founders who have walked similar paths. Another option is to connect with founders through networking in the startup ecosystem, for example, via organisations like ItsGirlDreamer. Speaking to people who have been on similar journeys can help you realise that they’ve faced failures and made mistakes too. Their stories can uplift you and help you feel less alone. 

In fact, many of the world’s most successful businesspeople have backstories that begin with perceived failures or hurdles. It might also help to gain more experience in the field before launching your own next time, for example, by networking with founders in the same industry or working with them in a consulting capacity.

Once you feel ready, focus on getting back to stability, whether that means finding a job to pay the bills or simply taking time to rest and recharge. Reflect on what you’ve learned from this journey and what success actually means to you. It’s okay to cry if you need to, and then move forward with confidence. Think of this as an investment in an education that no business school could have given you. Learning is always costly, whether it happens in a classroom or through real-life experience.

You may have lost your savings, but you’ve gained lessons, skills, and resilience that many people never develop in a regular job. Remember, rizq comes from Allah alone and can take many forms. You can rebuild your savings; you have done it once, and you will do it again inshaAllah. But the experience you have gained is invaluable, even if you can’t see it right now. When you start job hunting again, you’ll discover that employers will value the creativity, initiative, and problem-solving skills that come from having run your own business.

For now, be kind to yourself, trust in Allah’s provisions, and keep making dua to Him. May He reward you with even better provisions and bless you with barakah in every aspect of your life, in your rizq, your resources, and your energy. Ameen.

Love + Duas,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.