New Year’s resolutions, the Great Lock-In of Q4, the September reset, birthday goals, post-Ramadan intentions – we love a calendar date to attach our ambitions to, and sometimes, an entire overhaul of our lives. We also tend to change too much, too fast, only to find ourselves back in old habits within days, or burnt out by the end of the month.

The New Year is a natural moment for reflection – read: curated Instagram dumps, end-of-year TikTok audios, and neatly packaged “wraps” of our lives – followed by questions about what entirely new persona we’ll adopt from 2 January (after recovery time, of course). New Year’s resolutions have become something of a cultural punchline, made impulsively and abandoned just as quickly. But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if we approached goal-setting and goal-keeping in a way that made consistency possible?

Part of the issue lies in the assumption that every year is meant to hold everything at once: spiritual growth, physical transformation, financial discipline, creative output, and social fulfilment. But life moves in seasons, and so do we. There are periods of expansion and momentum, and others of maintenance, consolidation or quiet recovery.

The Prophet ﷺ taught us that “The most beloved deeds to Allah ﷻ are those that are small and consistent, even if they are few.” (Bukhari). What we can take from this is that consistency, not intensity, sustains us. 

Incremental goal-setting resists the urge to overhaul everything at once. Instead of asking how to become a completely different person by February, it asks what one area of life needs gentle, committed attention right now.

This might look like stabilising a single habit rather than chasing multiple aspirational ones, or choosing progress that feels quiet but repeatable. Over time, these small shifts compound, reshaping our lives without the burnout that so often follows grand declarations.

I spoke to four women about how they approach their goals, the obstacles they’ve faced, how they make the journey enjoyable, and what advice they’d offer the well-intentioned, overly ambitious and perpetually ‘restarting’ among us.

They spoke about forming an identity around their goals and approaching them with intention and kindness. They also reflected on the importance of acknowledging personal barriers, working within capacity, and leaning on accountability partners to support sustainable growth.

Intentionality and Gradual Change 

Whether you’re setting goals for the upcoming calendar year, revisiting intentions you made last Ramadan, or somewhere in between birthday milestones, clearly writing your goals down goes a long way. This doesn’t need to be elaborate – it could be a notes page on your phone, a journal entry, a Notion board, or a dedicated app. What matters more than the medium is the clarity.

As you approach your goals, it’s important to consider realistic timescales. Factoring in different life seasons – periods where your capacity may be lower – allows you to be honest about what’s achievable right now. Some milestones will take longer than expected, and that isn’t a failure. Delay can be wisdom from Allah  – an invitation to grow into the person you need to be before the goal itself is reached.

Nafisa, who self-professedly has “a lot of tabs open” in her mind, is someone who is always in pursuit of something new. Last year, she set herself a mix of ambitious long-term goals alongside smaller lifestyle shifts and practical objectives.

“One thing I really believe in is the power of writing goals down. Honestly, I don’t even call it manifestation. I believe that when you truly intend something – even if it’s just a small whisper of intention – Allah ﷻ facilitates it. Not always in the way you expect or plan, but in His way. We’re on Allah’s road, Allah’s timing, and Allah’s plan.

Last year was the first time I had a dedicated notebook just for writing down my goals. I organise my goals by categories. Those categories are: Deen, health and wellbeing, finance, family and friends, play and hobbies, and business and career. For example, for my religious goals, I wanted to memorise six surahs and have weekly Qur’an classes, amongst others. I also had a section for new or one-off goals. Under finance, I included saving goals, investment goals, income targets, and even writing a will.

One goal I didn’t achieve in 2024 was completing an Olympic weightlifting course, but I did do it this year. I think that really shows how some goals take time – sometimes years – and that’s definitely been true for me.

Of course, alongside believing in Allah’s ﷻ plan, you still have to tie your camel – you have to do the work – but there are goals I wrote down five years ago that I didn’t actively work towards. They were just sitting there, marinating in my mind. And I really believe that over time, doors start opening because of that intention.”

Nafisa helpfully shared excerpts from her journals, detailing intentions she had as far back as 2019, and how those played out over the years. The pages are a powerful illustration of her point, that it may take years to achieve what you set out to, and that, whether or not there is weight to writing down your intentions, being able to go back to them is a wonderful reminder that you’re living the life you once yearned for. 

Last year, Salma set out to fix her car, pay off her credit card debt, perform umrah with her mum and get back on ADHD medication, amongst some others, and achieved most of them. She’d set out to create a vision board for her year in 2025, which she didn’t get around to – the ADHD tax is very real – but is considering doing it for 2026 to help gain some clarity and direction. Salma takes a unique approach to re-centering herself and her goals – she writes herself emails. 

“In an email I wrote to myself from the height of the summer in June to November 18th, I wrote, ‘If you were to die at 50, that means you have already spent half your summers. Make the remaining 23 count.’ When I regain that perspective, it makes me want to be more productive. It makes me want to do more. It’s the antithesis to the days I spend bedrotting and wasting my time.”

Accountability Partners

Tackling your goals, whether for the year or for the season, doesn’t have to be a solitary activity. Human beings are naturally social creatures, and we can extend that beyond meeting up for chinwags and fun activities. 

An accountability buddy can be someone you execute your goals with – gym sessions, the pursuit of knowledge, a shared hobby you’d both like to pick up, or someone you check in with. You can set up a monthly coffee with a friend where you both set out your goals, discuss your progress, share the blockers you’re coming up against and how you can address them. This way, you not only have someone to report to and exchange mutual encouragement, but you also incorporate your objectives into your social calendar. 

Noor set a goal in 2024 to lose excess weight and get stronger. She found that for the first half of the year, she did well, but then tapered and slowly lost ground in the second half of the year and in 2025. She found that her biggest obstacles are not having structure and prioritising social outings. 

“I’ve always been haphazard about this stuff and have generally succeeded more by outsourcing accountability – weekly meetings with my pastoral tutor at university when my goal was academic success, or getting a personal trainer when it came to my strength goal. I’d advocate for a PT as they hopefully have the knowledge and wisdom to protect you from injury with good technique and challenge you proportionally. If you have a gym buddy, you need to ensure you don’t try to match what they’re lifting because they have a different body and are at a different stage from you – but you can still benefit from going together to make the process feel less arduous and more fun.

With accountability buddies, the thing Nafisa says about burdening each other is important. Friendship need not have the limited and superficial meaning we’ve attached to it, where the depth is limited to deep conversations over chai. It can also mean leaning on one another in the pursuit of self-improvement.”

Salma also advocates for the use of specialist help to provide guidance and structure where possible, as well as turning to a friend who could be in the same position as you or someone who is quite disciplined and can inspire you. 

“I have lots of things I say I want to do. I want to learn to draw, learn Spanish, travel more, etc., but then I forget about them, or I can’t give them the attention they need, and they slip away. I once told a therapist that I want to get out more and see my friends in other cities, but I was struggling to do so because I wasn’t able to plan and then actualise said plan. He advised me to alternate the months, so I’m planning the trip one month and then enacting that plan the following month. Now, instead of letting time pass me by, I’m getting at least 6 trips out a year to see people I love.”

Nafisa echoes the call to share your objectives with friends. “There’s something powerful about doing things together. Islam encourages us to act in congregation – to achieve things, build things, and grow alongside one another. Many of my friends are deeply invested in self-development, whether spiritually, creatively, professionally, or in business. Being surrounded by people who are also intentional about their growth creates a soft but meaningful level of accountability. Just having others know what you’re working towards can make a real difference.”

Systems, Habit Stacking and Identity 

A couple of years ago, someone shared an important piece of advice that has rung in my mind ever since – you can’t rely on self-discipline to achieve things, you need systems. Despite my own aversion to the ‘self-improvement’ genre, and the countless memes around pop productivity books and the kinds of ‘late-stage capitalism brain-rotted’ people who read them, I recently picked up the book from which that advice originated, Atomic Habits by James Clear. 

Clear’s key insight is that progress doesn’t have to be drastic. Improving just 1% in small areas of your life compounds – by the end of the year, that tiny shift adds up to significant change.

The lesson for goal-setting is clear: start small, focus on habits, and honour your current season. Build systems that make new habits easier – optimise your environment, stack new habits onto routines you already have, and resist the urge to overhaul everything at once.

Most importantly, embody the identity of the person you want to become. Your habits shape your identity, and your chosen identity shapes your habits – all in manageable, sustainable increments.

Layla slowly implemented this framework while approaching last year’s goals, “At the start of the year, my goals were quite vague, but I had clear priorities. I knew I wanted to focus on my health and well-being, and on creating a better work-life balance. They weren’t very specific at first, but over time, they became clearer as I started auditing what was working and what wasn’t.

For example, with health, I began by setting aside time each day to walk a certain amount. Once that habit felt solid, I started stacking others on top of it – going to the gym, drinking more water, eating more intentionally. Gradually, these small changes added up, and I realised how much progress I’d made.

I also began setting goals based on the mistakes I noticed myself making. If I was constantly hungry and snacking, I realised the issue wasn’t willpower – it was preparation. I wasn’t planning whole foods in advance or making habits easy for myself. So I started doing bigger food shops and putting systems in place, meaning that on low-energy days, I didn’t have to think about what protein, carbs or vegetables to eat. That shift alone made consistency far easier.”

Nafisa has also mastered the art of breaking down her goals into habits, as well as framing her approach to her goals as an identity shift. 

“A common pitfall is having a goal without knowing what daily or weekly actions will make it happen. For example, my aim of learning ten surahs comes with a habit: listening to them on repeat while driving. Showing up for the habit consistently – not just achieving the end goal – is where real progress happens. Fitness works the same way: signing up for a Monday class and attending each week builds the habit; getting fit is the byproduct.

I also approach goals by thinking about the type of person I want to be. If I want a strong relationship with the Qur’an, the habits might be memorisation and attending classes. If I want to invest in friendships, it might be hosting friends every quarter. Goals, in this sense, are a way to close the gap between who I am and who I want to be.

One exercise I find particularly motivating is imagining the version of yourself you’ll meet in a year. Picture her routines, her energy, what she’s achieved, even where she lives. That story – your future self – creates a pull strong enough to shape your daily choices. Reflecting on it periodically, during Ramadan or at the New Year, helps you stay aligned with your goals and move steadily toward the person you want to become.”

Implementing the habits that bring your goals within reach doesn’t need to be an arduous process. With the right support, from accountability partners to practical tech tools, consistency can feel far more achievable.

“We’ve always used tools to support our routines – artificial lighting, written calendars, alarm clocks. Today, those tools are simply more specialised and more accessible. Our phones now hold prayer-time apps, Qur’an habit trackers, multiple alarms, digital calendars, step counters, MyFitnessPal, recipe apps based on what’s already in your cupboard, even smart scales,” Noor says. 

“For me, when it came to weight and fat loss, using a scale that connected to my phone and estimated body composition helped me notice change over time. I’m better at sticking to daily routines than tracking weekly trends, and I’m good at ignoring small fluctuations. Weighing myself daily actually became enjoyable, especially when I was making progress – there’s something undeniably motivating about seeing the line go down.”

What Are Your Roadblocks?

Acknowledging our barriers can feel like admitting defeat, when in reality it’s often the opposite. Much like trying to pour from an empty cup, refusing to adjust to mental or physical obstacles can do more harm in the long run. Sustainable goal-setting asks for honesty: kindness towards ourselves, an acceptance of our capacity in a given moment, and realism that sits between delusional optimism and quiet defeat. 

Salma has found that her unmedicated ADHD, mental health, and career have been barriers to her goals. Rather than berating herself, she treats herself with compassion.

“It’s hard to work towards the life you want when your circumstances keep you in a state of limbo. There is change on the horizon, but when I feel this unregulated, I focus on taking whatever small wins I can, rather than pushing myself to be overly ambitious.”

Noor has discovered how to harness technology and practical strategies to navigate her barriers, making self-improvement sustainable while learning to enjoy the process without being discouraged by societal expectations.

“I don’t know if I have ADHD specifically, but I do know that I experience time blindness and related challenges. Learning how I actually function – rather than how I think I should – has been key to making sustainable changes. In this season, that means accepting practical support: working with a personal trainer, putting prayer times into my calendar to structure my day, and logging social plans so I don’t overextend or opt out entirely.

I’ve also learned to separate looking good from being healthy. Believing I couldn’t look good in a bigger body was damaging and fed unnecessary anxiety. Letting that go helped me realise that confidence doesn’t need to wait for a future version of myself. Looking good has to be possible now, with the body I have. Health, on the other hand, can be a longer journey that unfolds over time. This is why I’m wary of ‘lock-in’ or ‘monk mode’ approaches. They might promise faster results, but they often ignore human limits.

In seasons where capacity is low, it’s better to make slower progress while still enjoying life.

This applies to health, finances, and beyond. Sustainable change comes from recognising what has held you back before, putting support in place – whether human or technological – and allowing habits time to bed in.”

For Nafisa, knowing when and how she works best has been key to setting goals she can actually stick to.

“I tend to set multiple goals around calendar moments like the New Year, Ramadan, and my birthday in July, which acts as a natural midpoint for reflection. While these markers aren’t strictly necessary, they signal shifts in season – moments to pause, reflect, and reset with intention.

Energy and capacity also change with the seasons. Summer is social and relaxed, September feels like a natural ‘lock-in’ period, and December naturally shifts my focus to family, friends, and deen. Planning goals around these rhythms, rather than against them, has made goal-setting feel more sustainable.

Seeing goals as seasonal – something to move into rather than abruptly start or abandon – has helped me work with my capacity and maintain consistency.”

She raises a physical obstacle too, “I’ve also realised that visibility matters. Writing goals where you see them every day can be incredibly powerful, but for me, privacy has been a barrier. I don’t always want guests seeing my goals, so I’ve had to find spaces that feel safe while still keeping them in view.”

Similarly, Layla has come to tackle her goals with greater consideration for her capacity, instead of stretching herself too far and burning out.

“One change I’ve made around goal-setting is learning to be kinder to myself. I’ve realised that I can’t do everything perfectly, all the time, across every area of my life. Instead, I try to identify clear priorities – even within a single day or week – and focus on what I can do to the best of my ability in that moment.

Some weeks, work takes priority; other weeks, family does. Over time, those shifting priorities add up. It’s the sum of those seasons, rather than perfection in every area at once, that shapes progress.”

The reflections show that not every season calls for intensity; some require steadiness and care. When our goals are shaped with that awareness, they’re far more likely to endure.

Make Space

Over the past few years, a popular social media trend at this time of year has been ‘Ins’ and ‘Outs.’ The idea is simple: not only make a list of the lifestyle habits you want to bring in, but also identify what hasn’t worked over the past 12 months and consciously let it go.

Nafisa’s practical advice on goal-setting follows this sensibility. “When someone feels burnt out or exhausted by an extensive list of goals or resolutions, I’d suggest thinking in terms of what I call defensive goals. Rather than attacking your life, you’re defending it – identifying things you no longer need to do. Often, simply stopping certain habits or saying no to things naturally creates space for the positive things you actually want.

For example, I decided that I would no longer associate my free time with TV or scrolling on my phone. Instead, I wanted to spend that time on creative projects, reading, or other activities aligned with who I want to be. By removing something, you make room for something better. The principle applies to any area of life – time, attention, or energy. I wanted to stop scrolling before bed, so I read instead. I wanted to stop flaking on friends, so I strengthened my relationships.

If people are struggling to figure out what they want to do, start by asking: What do I no longer want to do? Let that guide the space you create for the goals that matter.”

Tie Your Camel and Go Forth With Your Maker 

It can feel overwhelming to sit down and note a list of goals that strike the right balance – not so ambitious that it becomes unattainable, but not so modest that you’re avoiding growth. Despite interrogating my friends at the end and beginning of the year, I still found my mind cluttered with too many goals and none at all. So I turned to a simple mind-mapping exercise.

I created a bubble for things I’ve always said I’ve wanted to – go surfing, get my driver’s licence, tour South East Asia on a motorbike; another for habits I’d like to continue – cycling everywhere, fitness classes, taking supplements; a third for what I wanted to cut out – aimless scrolling, taking too long to reply to people (I am truly sorry!); and finally a bubble for concrete outcomes I’d like to achieve: get that driver’s licence, sell 50 items of clothing to declutter. 

With my thoughts organised and my intentions written down, it became much easier to break each goal into habits with a clear timeline. For example, adopting the identity ‘I will know how to drive by the end of the year, insha’Allah’ leads naturally to researching instructors, booking lessons, scheduling a theory test, and committing to at least 20 minutes of daily theory practice. Having a timeline also makes accountability practical – my accountability partner knows when and how to check in, and I can offer the same in return.

Knowing my own barriers matters too. ADHD and phone addiction are real obstacles for me, so instead of forcing myself through the thick theory book I bought six years ago, I’m using an app. Smaller sections and bite-sized questions feel more manageable, and practising replaces my scrolling habit. What was once a vague dream with no structure is now a clear plan, one that moves me closer to a goal I’ve held for over a decade and opens the door to greater freedom and fulfilment.

Whether you’re outlining goals for 2026 or Ramadan, why not adopt a more realistic framework this time? Set yourself a few overarching aspirational but achievable goals for the year, and break them down by season. For each season, choose a primary focus while allowing other areas to remain in maintenance mode. Take into consideration the habits that will lead you to them, how you’ll integrate those habits into your existing routine, and what identity you need to adopt, rather than expecting overnight results and throwing in the towel after a week. Seek out an accountability partner, or different ones for different goals. Be honest with yourself about your limitations and obstacles, and work around them instead of letting them be silent killers of your motivation.  

Revisit your goals quarterly instead of obsessively, and with consideration instead of coercion. You may find yourself propelled towards success much faster when your energy is focused and prioritised.

This time, the question isn’t ‘what more can I do?’ but ‘what is Allah inviting me to foster in this season, and what can I gently leave for later?’

We often turn to Allah in moments of struggle and turmoil, or in jubilation when we recognise the blessings He puts in our lives. But do we turn to Him when setting our intentions for the month, season or year? Our objectives are only achievable through His will, and consciously asking our Creator to facilitate what’s best for us can be a way to help doors open with ease, increase the barakah in the journey, and remind us that redirection is not rejection.