by Maya Areem in Lifestyle on 22nd April, 2023
We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.
We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.
Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!
Dear Aunt Maya,
My husband and I have very different attitudes towards money. I’m a saver, but they’re a spender, and it’s causing a lot of arguments between us. How can we find a way to manage our finances that works for both of us?
Thank you for writing in. I hope you are well and in a good place insha’Allah.
There is a lot to unpack here and I don’t know the intricacies of your marriage so please do take this with a pinch of salt.
Firstly some questions:
For spenders it can be hard to save when there is no clear financial goal, motivation to save or structure. For savers, it can feel like spenders aren’t taking finances seriously. I have also found that this spend save dynamic is prevalent in a lot of relationships – perhaps because being with someone different to you often is helpful to attain a middle ground!
I would also think about what are the facts of his spending? Does he spend too much? Does he spend on things you don’t find important but are important to him? Does he spend on things that improve quality of life but aren’t so important to you? Does any of his financial decisions bring unnecessary risk?
Some tips to help you both:
Love and duas,
If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.