We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya. I’m single, and I feel it’s quite lonely being a Muslim woman. Within the Muslim community, so much emphasis is placed on family but if you don’t have close family (I don’t), it can feel isolating. I’ve tried to focus on my career, hobbies, and faith, but there are still moments when the loneliness hits hard. I know marriage isn’t something I can control, and I trust that Allah’s timing is best, but sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in limbo. How do I cope with these feelings and stop them from taking over? 

Maya Areem Responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Firstly, I want to acknowledge how courageous it is to share these feelings. Loneliness can often feel like a heavy, invisible weight, and expressing it is a powerful step toward seeking ease and understanding.

You’re right that within many Muslim communities, social lives often revolve around family. While that’s a beautiful thing, it can unintentionally leave those without close family, or those trying to find their place in the community, feeling left out. It’s a common struggle that many sisters face, and it’s even more visible during special times like Ramadan and Eid. It can be painful to feel like there’s this invisible barrier that keeps you on the outside, no matter how much effort you make to connect.

I want to start by saying that this isn’t a reflection of your worth or value. Allah ﷻ sees the effort you put into seeking connection, even if others don’t always reciprocate in the way you need.

It’s important to remember that a community can be found in different forms. It can be worth exploring spaces where you might meet other like-minded sisters. Perhaps a volunteering group, a halaqah, a book club, or classes at your local mosque—or even an online community. You could also explore fitness spaces like a running or cycling club, exercise classes at your local gym, pottery, embroidery, or painting classes, or attend local events and markets. Sometimes the best connections happen in unexpected places!

That said, while it might feel exhausting, try to focus on finding just one friend, someone who uplifts you and shares your values. A connection doesn’t have to come from a big circle of people; one meaningful relationship can make a world of difference. One good, righteous friend is worth more than a hundred acquaintances.

At the same time, I want to remind you that Islam’s idea of community isn’t limited to family.  The Prophet ﷺ showed us that our Ummah is like one big extended family. So while it’s okay to feel that ache for closer ties, don’t forget to lean into the relationships you do have, even if they aren’t traditional ones. Friends, colleagues, mentors—they can all be part of your support system, forming a chosen family that is unique to you. Lean into the connections you do have, even if they aren’t traditional ones.

Still, I know that no amount of community can completely shield us from the quieter moments, where loneliness creeps in and the ache of longing for something more feels sharp. In those moments, remember that it’s okay to feel this way. Let yourself grieve the void, but don’t let it consume you. Hold on to the knowledge that Allah’s wisdom and timing are perfect, and your story is unfolding exactly as it is meant to. Trusting that doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions—it means bringing them to Him in du’a, raw and unfiltered. Talk to Him about how you feel, even if it’s messy.

And while you’re waiting for this next chapter to unfold, don’t let this season feel like life is on pause. You’ve already taken steps toward that through your career, hobbies, and faith, and it’s a testament to your strength. Keep building a life that feels full and joyful for you. Travel if you can, dive deeper into hobbies, learn something new, or even mentor someone who might feel just as lost as you do sometimes. You’re not “in limbo”—you’re in a chapter of your story that has its own beauty and purpose.

Above all, be gentle with yourself. Your worth is not defined by your marital status or the size of your social circle. You are enough, just as you are right now, in this very moment. Allah created you, loves you, and sees every struggle you face. And that’s more than enough.

And don’t underestimate the power of du’a—ask Allah to bless you with righteous, loving friends who truly understand you and support you. He is Al-Mujib, the One who responds. He hears every whisper of your heart, even the unspoken ones.

And so, I leave you with this: May Allah make ease for you in your loneliness, surround you with loving and supportive souls, and grant you contentment and fulfilment in all the ways you seek it—and more.

Love + duas,
Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.