Talking about money isn’t always easy. And when it comes to marriage, it can feel like one of the most daunting conversations we can have. Yet, for many people, it is also one of the most important topics to discuss before committing to a relationship for life. 

Being upfront about finances early on can help you build mutual trust and have confidence in each other, and understand how to communicate on various aspects of your life. For a relationship to thrive, both partners must be willing to discuss how to combine expenses, build savings, ways to spend money, and have financial goals and values. Being on the same page as your spouse is conducive to managing expectations and laying the foundations for a healthy marriage. For many women, a partner’s income can signal their future lifestyle, values, goals, and the ability to build a stable future together.

We asked Muslim women how much they think a potential partner should earn, and the answers were quite varied, showing that there’s no one-size-fits-all. 

Some women focused on practical needs, like covering rent and planning for children, while others highlighted ambition, faith, and the importance of being on the same page when it comes to financial planning. 

It Should Cover the Basics 

For some, it’s about covering the essentials. One woman put it plainly, “It should be enough to be able to cover the rent and food if you were not to work. I understand this might look different based on the age of the person you are marrying, so naturally, you would have an expectation that the salary would increase with the amount of experience your potential spouse has in their chosen field. Ultimately, I would look at whether they have the drive and ambition, as rizq is from Allah, and ultimately, the trust should be there once you’ve done your due diligence.” Anon 32

While it is true that rizq is ultimately from Allah ﷻ, many women want a partner who is practical, driven, and able to provide a comfortable life, as tying your camel is as important as trusting Him.

Ambition and Progression Matter

Other women shared the idea that current income can be an indicator, not only of current lifestyle but also of future earning potential.

“£65k, in this climate, to be able to rent in London and still afford a yearly holiday. Depending on the field, the wage also implies progression, meaning an ambitious personality. This is to increase upon the discussion of children.” Anon, 33

For many people, especially in the current economic market, knowing that a partner has the drive and ambition to grow alongside them is just as important as what they earn today.

Faith and Responsibility

For some women, financial expectations are deeply connected with religious principles.

“£50k at present with scope of £80k at its peak. Why? In the Shafi’i school, a man has to provide for the woman to the level that she is raised with. Nowadays I feel like decent QOL, buying a house without Riba plus with scope for a holiday, etc, plus kids requires a minimum of £100k.” Anon, 28

Financial provision is not just practical; it’s part of the responsibility given to men by Allah to be able to provide and protect their families.

Depends on Your Stage of Life

Some women pointed out that when it comes to a partner’s income, it is important to understand that age and life experience also play a role. Younger women are often more focused on starting points, understanding that both partners are still growing in their careers and earning potential. 

“I believe before a man thinks about getting married, he needs to be able to afford rent, and be able to spend on us too, whilst we are married. I would say the amount depends on the person, but around £25k would be a good starting salary if you are under 25 and hoping to get married.” Anon, 21

“Depends on age and location, as if you’re living in London and plan to live separately/rent after marriage, you’ll need to be taking home at least £3k a month for rent/bills/expenses. If you’re in your early 20s, a recent graduate and looking to get married, then perhaps the amount you earn won’t be as much as someone in their 40s.” Anon, married, 40

For older women, the expectations tend to shift. It’s less about entry-level earnings and more about financial maturity: having enough left over after essentials to save, invest, and manage money responsibly.

“After essential expenses have been covered (food, accommodation, bills, etc), he should have at least £2000/month disposable income. Bonus points if he invests some of that regularly & doesn’t just spend it. Shows he has thought about his future, knows how to manage money and can take responsibility for the expenses of another person.” Anon, 40

Shared Lifestyles and Compatibility

Some responses emphasised the importance of financial compatibility.

“Lowest should be 10k less than me. Otherwise, you have different financial lifestyles, which causes challenges and friction. Also, if he cannot afford to provide for you, it’s not going to work.” Anon, 32

“Preferably £75,000 or more. I live in London and alhamdulillah, my income is near this figure. I would want my husband to earn more than I, and if Allah grants us children, I’d like to raise them on his income when mine may halt or lessen. London is very expensive, but it’s home. I expect my husband to be well into his career if he is older than me. If I were younger, I would’ve expected less.” Anon, 33

“Completely depends on who I’m looking for and the lifestyle I wish to live – but perhaps as a rule of thumb, should be earning the same as I am as a baseline.” Anon, 30

It may be hard to hear, but the reality is that so many marriages go through difficult times because partners are not on the same page when it comes to financial knowledge, habits, or goals. The cost of living crisis and trying to survive in the current post-pandemic economy have only made things harder. That’s why many people prefer having these conversations before committing, so expectations are clear and both partners can plan their future together.

When it comes to financial expectations in a marriage, it is clear that there is no universal “right” answer. For some women, money conversations are more about security and understanding each other’s priorities, ambitions, and approach to life together. For others, their priorities shift depending on the stage and season of life they are in. 

For some women, these conversations don’t matter. They care more about compatibility in other areas, such as whether someone is kind, responsible, and thoughtful, regardless of their pay slip. At the end of the day, marriages thrive when partners learn to communicate openly, remain considerate of each other’s needs, and truly value one another, through life’s ups and downs.