Many of us grew up in households where any mention of menstruation was a total taboo. Even acknowledging that we were on our period was unheard of, let alone giving ourselves special care and attention during that time of the month. We might have grown used to hiding our symptoms due to stigma or shame, battling through even when we needed rest or even buying into sexist ideas about women being volatile, moody and hormonal. 

It’s no wonder that some of us feel like we’re not measuring up in a masculine-led world that demands we show up in the same way every day, no matter what’s going on with our bodies. But our cyclical nature as women is by Allah ﷻ’s design, and should not be seen as a weakness or personal fault. It doesn’t make us hysterical or unstable. Not feeling the same every day or week doesn’t make us fragile; it makes us adaptive.

Hormonally, there are many reasons why women don’t always feel cheerful and agreeable. Some hormonal shifts bring out our sociable and optimistic nature, while others may bring to the surface our irritations, rage and need for boundaries. But feeling a bit low or sensitive at certain times is not a fault, nor is it necessarily a mental health problem. It is true that menstrual phases impact our moods, but we also face societal expectations that give little room for women to express the full range of our emotional selves as cyclical bodies. However, if we can acknowledge the role of hormones in how our brains function, we can better understand how reproductive hormones impact our moods and how they enhance and optimise our brains as well.

Cycle ≠ Menstruation

To understand the brilliance of our menstrual cycle, we first need to differentiate it from menstruation. While menstruation may seem like the key event in the menstrual cycle, the days of our period are only one phase in our monthly sequence of events. From the first day of our period, the brain sends a message to the ovaries to start growing a new egg follicle. When this growing follicle matures, it starts creating estrogen until an egg (or two) reaches full maturity and is released at ovulation. 

This pre-ovulatory or follicular phase is largely driven by estrogen and primes the body for the possibility of fertilisation when the egg is released. This can explain a noticeable uptick in energy, keenness to socialise and other desirable traits like improved short-term memory, optimism, empathy, social drive, enhanced communication skills, glowing hair and skin, and effortless ability to connect with others.^[1] All of these traits make women admittedly more desirable, attractive, and magnetic, which is our biological design prodding us towards procreation.

When estrogen is rising in our follicular and ovulatory phases, supporting our liver can help us metabolise and eliminate excess levels of estrogen that are no longer needed. Generally, our liver appreciates lighter foods that aren’t heavy, oily and overly processed. Cruciferous vegetables, fresh coriander, and herbal teas like milk thistle and dandelion root are great liver allies. If you struggle with digestion or clotted periods, consider applying a castor oil pack over your liver (the upper right side of your abdomen) for more support.

After ovulation is complete and the fertile window closes, our brains orient our bodies to a new priority – preparation for pregnancy.

Often, we think of pregnancy beginning when fertilisation occurs, i.e., when the egg meets the sperm. But in reality, a fertilised egg still has to journey through our uterine tubes (also known as fallopian tubes) and then successfully implant in the uterine lining before pregnancy can be established, some six to twelve days later. The sac that once held the egg follicle turns into a temporary organ called the corpus luteum, which is why the period of time after we’ve ovulated is called the luteal phase. The corpus luteum is the key producer of progesterone, the hormone that helps to prepare for and sustain gestation or pregnancy. While the luteal phase is often misidentified as “PMS Week,” this characterisation belittles all of the critical ways that progesterone is simply trying to fulfil its function.

Progesterone influences our brains to be more discerning, critical, and protective. Instead of seeing all of the optimism and bonding opportunities that estrogen illuminates, progesterone can make us analytical, cautious, and critical.

Our digestion can slow down to allow for greater absorption of nutrients, in case we have a little embryo to nurture. Some women notice a heightened sense of smell or taste, which helps protect them from ingesting harmful substances. And our immune system becomes more anti-inflammatory to lower its guard and prevent our body from potentially recognising a growing embryo as a foreign pathogen. This can make us more prone to getting sick at this time. Towards the end of the luteal phase, just before menstruation begins, we might notice more of our nesting qualities showing up, like the impulse to tidy up and bring order, organisation and closure to our personal spaces and projects.

Key self-care practices during your luteal phase to avoid difficult moods and physical discomfort include well-planned meals that centre around a clear protein source, paired with complex carbohydrates like whole grains or slow-burning carbs like roasted root vegetables. Additionally, low-glycemic fruits like berries, pears and plums are very well-tolerated.

Don’t be afraid to give yourself space to feel and process what comes up for you at this time. Your brain’s ‘inner critique’ is not always your enemy. However, giving yourself time to filter what merits consideration and course-correction is valuable. Even if you’re known as the “social butterfly,” you can return to your cocoon to recharge and reflect as needed. 

The menstrual phase is when our uterus sheds its built-up lining because the brain has recognised and confirmed that pregnancy was not achieved. All of our reproductive hormones reach their lowest concentrations, which enhances cross-brain communication and optimises the part of our brain attributed to intuition or deep, inner knowing. Without estrogen energising us to go out and connect, we might find ourselves drawn to slowing down, resting, and tending to our inner world – our thoughts, inspirations and dreams.

While menstruating, we have Allah’s very own invitation to take rest. Without the expectation of establishing the ritual prayer or fasting, there is an implied opportunity to nourish ourselves with rest, wholesome foods, and Divine remembrance.

The emotional sensitivity that some women feel while menstruating is actually such a beautiful opening for heartfelt supplication and sincere dhikr that is not just said with the lips, but genuinely felt in the quietude of our hearts.

Estrogen, Progesterone and Our Brains

Understanding how these hormones communicate with our brains and impact our moods can help us dispel many myths and misunderstandings we have about our bodies. 

When estrogen dominates our menstrual cycle (before ovulation), our moods tend to be at their peak. Serotonin, the hormone that helps stabilise our mood and ward off depressive thoughts, rises alongside estrogen.

If you consider that the biological goal during this phase is for us to be sociable and desirable before ovulation, it’s easy to see how estrogen works to keep us uplifted, out and about, and deeply connected to those around us. However, it’s important that we don’t plan our entire month assuming that estrogen will keep fueling us for weeks on end.

After ovulation, estrogen will start to decline, and we can easily become overwhelmed if we try to bring our pre-ovulatory enthusiasm to our luteal or post-ovulatory reality.

By planning our schedules to account for the expected shifts of social energy, stable moods and stress resilience, we can prevent burnout and collapse during the more sensitive times of our month.

When progesterone dominates in our menstrual cycle (following ovulation), it’s natural to feel less ‘out there’ and outgoing. Because our body is in a pro-gestation state, we may not feel as comfortable taking risks or entering new scenarios, and, by design, our brains can easily go into high alert when stressors mount. Progesterone can have a calming and grounding effect, as it influences our production of GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid), a neurotransmitter likened to the brain’s ‘brake pedal’ which helps our brains slow down and reduce stress, anxiety and fear. 

Progesterone also raises our metabolism, which is why a slight increase in resting body temperature can be detected after ovulation, which confirms that you did, in fact, release an egg. Our overall metabolism also increases, which means we’re burning calories more quickly and can be more prone to cravings and increased appetite. Needing more food is your body’s way of communicating that you need to eat more intentionally and avoid skipping meals, if you can. By planning your meals, especially a protein-rich breakfast, you can help offset erratic moods that follow irregular blood sugar levels.

Our luteal phase (after ovulation) is a time for stronger personal boundaries and greater self-care, not just a stormy week that we have to endure and label as PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome). In the words of author and hormone expert, Alissa Vitti, try describing PMS as ‘Prioritising My Self’ and see how your symptoms, both physiological and emotional, change as a result.

Get to Know Your Cycle

Tracking your moods, sleep and energy levels over the course of the month gives you invaluable data for your own self-care. Many of us were never taught how to care for ourselves in any special way during our periods. Regardless of the examples we received, we can start supporting our menstruation by keeping our bodies warm, nourished and rested. 

Foods rich in iron and minerals like sea vegetables, leafy greens, red meat, organ meats and shellfish can help replenish our blood supply. Magnesium-rich foods like dark chocolate, almonds, avocados and spinach offer muscle calming properties that can help relieve menstrual cramps, constipation, insomnia, leg cramps and back aches.

Traditional care practices like womb massage, herbal baths and castor oil packs can additionally relieve physical discomfort that contributes to feeling irritable and unavailable for life’s daily activities. By caring for our menstrual health, we support menstrual function and brain-to-ovary communication as well.

Keeping a mental health and mood journal also helps to discern chronic mental health challenges as distinct from hormonally-triggered mental health challenges. If the week before your period tends to be particularly difficult with symptoms like depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation that are relieved once your period starts, you might want to discuss the possibility of PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) with your care provider. Even if you notice less intense emotions in the same time window, irritability and mood swings might be your body calling for more support in your luteal phase to accommodate rising cortisol levels and lower blood glucose levels. By giving attention to how you’re eating, resting and managing stress, you can discover your own tools of support.

How to Support Balanced Moods

At the root of our hormonal symphony – the interplay between the rising and falling hormones we experience – are fundamental pillars of support that are too often neglected. To make quality hormones of any type, we need quality fuel. Studies show that young women who skip breakfast are more likely to experience painful periods and PMS, and this reminds us of the importance of fundamentally sound eating habits.

By prioritising protein-rich meals in the morning, consisting of 25-30 grams of protein, alongside whole food carbohydrates, healthy fats, and fibre, we set the stage for stable blood sugar, which contributes to stable moods. 

While intermittent fasting (IF) is regarded as a health trend, long stretches of time without eating, without well-planned pre- and post-fasting meals, can wreak havoc on female hormones in our prime childbearing years and raise our cortisol levels. It’s easy to blame all of our emotions on hormones, but we’re responsible for eating habits that contribute to unstable blood sugar levels and, as a result, unstable moods too.

The quality of our sleep over time has also diminished with the abundance of urban light pollution, personal mobile devices, screen usage after dark and abandoning wind-down rituals that help ease our minds into rest.

The female brain requires more sleep than the male brain because of the complexity of our brain functions.^[1] As such, women require restful nights to ‘reboot’ our brains before the new day begins. Relying on sugar and caffeine for energy throughout the day does not compensate for our physiological need for rest. 

While productivity hacks recommend waking and starting our days before the sun, female bodies need rest to relieve stress levels and calm our nervous systems daily. Having an evening wind-down routine, free of screens and over-stimulation, can help soothe our minds and relieve stress.

Whether we choose to read a book, take a warm bath, or tend to our skin care routine, we can bring intention and mindfulness to whatever we do, which communicates to our nervous system that we are, in fact, safe and free from harm.

Women need to be particularly careful with social media usage. We all have a developmental and neurological need to feel a sense of belonging and safety, which has historically been met through real-life, in-person interactions like community, human touch, eye contact, and social mirroring. However, social media utilises a variety of tactics that hyperstimulate our brain’s reward system through dopamine production. 

Notifications, likes, and comments in response to our posts, images, and content can easily rope us into a continuous feedback loop of wanting more symbols of social approval without the benefit of authentic human connection. Over time, social media use can become addictive, leading to comparison anxiety, not feeling as fulfilled by real-life interactions, lowering our attention spans, and impacting our overall mental health. Additionally, social media addiction compromises our quality of sleep, raises our stress levels, and distracts us from nourishing self-care that helps support more balanced hormones and overall health. [4]

When Cycles Change or Stop

When our menstrual cycles are absent due to postpartum or menopause, we might notice significant changes in our brain function due to changing hormones, like memory changes, brain fog, etc. Initially, these shifts might look like frequently losing your train of thought or focus, forgetting where you placed items you use daily, or having difficulty recalling familiar information. This can seem frightening, but in fact, our brain is undergoing a renovation. 

There are key thresholds in our lives, like puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, and menopause, that literally require our brains to remodel as we move through transformational stages in our lives. Times such as these require patience, not panic, and compassionate self-witnessing without judgment.

We can find support in journaling our symptoms, talking with other women, expanding our awareness to consider our emotional, spiritual, and physical metamorphosis, and working with care providers who can comprehensively and holistically assess what we might need, not just provide knee-jerk pharmaceutical prescriptions.

Regardless of what stage or phase of life you find yourself in, know that your experiences are valid and don’t allow your concerns to be dismissed. If your care provider doesn’t offer the care you need, have them document in your medical records that they are refusing whatever testing or referrals you are requesting, and don’t be afraid to keep searching until you find a care provider who sees you as a whole and unique human being. Don’t neglect the possibility of finding effective care from acupuncturists, naturopaths, functional medicine practitioners, or other complementary medicine providers, even if you haven’t relied on them in the past. 

It can be a challenge to honour the changing tides of our hormones, but we can hold space for ourselves and the other women in our lives in the ways available to us. Sharing a meal when a sister doesn’t have time to pack her own, letting an employee go home early to rest when she’s on her period, or simply checking in on girlfriends to see how they’re feeling – both emotionally and physically at different stages of their cycles. Ultimately, though, caring for our mental health is about more than pills and therapy – it’s also remembering to take time for the Creator, being soothed by the beauty of Allah’s creation, and allowing a community of care to hold and witness us throughout our journey.

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1. Vitti, A. (2021). In the Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionise Your Life. HarperOne.^[1]

2. Breakfast Skipping in Female College Students Is a Potential and Preventable Predictor of Gynecologic Disorders

3. How Intermittent Fasting Affects Women

4. Social Media Addiction: What It Is and What to Do About It