We asked our audience to share their love stories, tales of chance meetings, intentional steps, and everything in between. What came back was a mosaic of experiences, each unique yet equally exciting. Some spoke of stolen glances that turned into lifetimes together, others of introductions carefully arranged by family, and many of friendships that slowly unfolded into love.

This is our seventh story.

Please note that these stories are not for giving advice and are about documenting the lives of Muslim women who got married 🧡

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Ibrahim & Laila

Our dads were college friends who had lost touch over the years due to our moving abroad for a while. After I had graduated, I told my parents I was ready to start the marriage search, so they began spreading the word amongst our family and friends. My mum’s friend (who also happened to be my husband’s uncle’s wife), came over for Eid when my mum told her about the search. My mum’s friend immediately thought of my husband as a recommendation and shared with his parents that I was a potential candidate.

Fast forward a month, his dad got in touch with my dad again, inviting us over to their house for a meal to catch up on old times ‘ sake. The invite was purely to meet each other’s families first, but my mum and I had our suspicions. 

It was after our invite that their family went silent for a while, popping up two months later with my husband’s interest in wanting to get to know me. So, we began meeting for our Ta’aaruf talks (getting to know one another for marriage).

We had met five times before we got married, the first two being the family meals and the others being our Ta‘aaruf talks.

SubhanAllah, despite our fathers’ history and the fact that I had grown up around many of his friends’ children, we had never crossed paths – not even once. Ironically, when I first told my parents to begin the search, I had specifically said I didn’t want to consider any of my dad’s friends’ kids. I had never seen them that way.

I also had a very specific idea in my head of what I wanted and didn’t want, especially when it came to material things. And funnily enough, my husband was the complete opposite of that list. Except for one thing: Deen.

What changed everything for me was his character and values. He exceeded my expectations in the ways that actually mattered. All the things I thought were important – job, finances, house – suddenly felt insignificant.

I knew my red flags, and he didn’t have a single one. His parents were warm, open, and easy to be around, and the more I spoke to them, the more my fears about living with in-laws faded. At some point, it became clear to me that I would be foolish to let him go over a superficial list I had created in my head. So I said yes.

How was Premarital Counselling?

I’m not sure what counts as pre-marital counselling, but I did join a paid Muslim marriage course and went to a few Islamic lectures on preparing for marriage. I think the process of seeking knowledge and improving your connection with Allah is so important in the preparation of oneself for marriage. It was through the marriage courses that I truly learnt about the sanctity of marriage in Islam and what the rights and responsibilities of the husband and wife are. Even if you grow up in a religious household, it is important to understand that our parents’ marriages and those around us are not perfect, so learning from a blank slate avoids any bias or misconceptions.

My husband had also done the same. The marriage course also guided me in thinking about what kind of person I wanted as a spouse. I’ve shared the tips with everyone I know, because they’re so necessary. Before a marriage meeting, writing a list of your non-negotiables is key. Non-negotiables have to be things that you would absolutely not compromise on and thus would annul your interest. Once you know what these are, you can create your questions based on them. An example of one of my non-negotiables was no smoking/vaping/shisha. Having this list is so crucial because it prevents a person from overcompromising on them.

I’ve always been a bit of a romantic, so my perception of love before marriage was always based on books, movies or TV shows. After marriage, though, it’s made me realise how unrealistic love is portrayed in them. Love isn’t just the flames of passion but rather the growing compassion and mercy one has for the other. Love is built on trust and built over time. You don’t have to necessarily love your partner before being married, but rather your love grows over time and the memories you form with them.

I’ve been married three years now, alhamdulillah.

When I thought about what I truly wanted in a partner, it came down to this: someone understanding and compassionate, someone who strives to follow the prophetic example of a husband and father. Someone grounded in Islamic values, who actively seeks knowledge, and someone I could genuinely envision as the father of my children.

And just as importantly, I knew what to look out for: anger, impatience, how he treats his family and others, and whether his values align with Islam.

Some may read my story and label it as an arranged marriage, but I think the term ‘arranged’ is so outdated and unfortunately carries a negative stigma due to the nature of actual arranged marriages, which go against all Islamic rulings anyway. The more appropriate term is ‘introduced’, and I’m sure those who have had a similar experience would agree.