We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Dear Aunt Maya,

I have been talking to this guy, he has been kind, with gifts most times. Recently he gifted me and thinks that I didn’t say a proper thank you by calling instead of texting. Said this harshly, after I texted him telling him there was no need to shout over the phone even if you wanted a proper thank you, he ended up disrespecting me and my mother and doesn’t see anything wrong with that. I feel attacked. Do I need to end things with him?

Maya Areem responds

Salam Alaykum,

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge your feelings and concerns. It’s essential to prioritize your emotional well-being in any relationship. From what you’ve shared, it seems like you are experiencing some unsettling behavior from this guy you’ve been talking to.

Gift-giving and kindness are positive aspects, but they should never be used as a way to manipulate or control someone. It’s troubling that he became upset because you chose to thank him via text instead of a phone call. Communication preferences can vary among individuals, and it’s important for him to respect your choice in expressing gratitude.

However, the situation worsened when he responded disrespectfully both to you and your mother. Disrespectful behavior is a red flag in any relationship and should not be tolerated. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and communication.

Considering the ongoing disrespect and harm caused by his behavior, it’s important to carefully reflect on the dynamics of your relationship. Prioritizing your well-being is crucial, and surrounding yourself with individuals who treat you and your loved ones with kindness and respect should be a significant consideration.

Take the time to assess whether this relationship aligns with your values and emotional needs. Seeking support from trusted friends or professionals during this process may also be beneficial. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that promotes your happiness and emotional health.

Love + duas,
Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.