We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya. I’ve recently decided to start my fitness journey after putting it off for years. I’m a plus-size woman, and although I’m excited to make positive changes for my health, I’m really anxious about going to the gym. I feel like all eyes will be on me, and I’m worried that people will judge or stare, making me feel out of place. The thought of walking into a room full of fit, experienced gym-goers feels intimidating, and it’s holding me back from even stepping through the door. How can I overcome this anxiety and gain the confidence to start my fitness journey without worrying about what others think?

Maya Areem Responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Firstly, I want to say how proud I am of you for taking the step to prioritise your health. That’s no small decision, and it shows a lot of strength and commitment. It’s completely natural to feel anxious about entering a space that can feel unfamiliar, especially when you feel like you might be judged. Society often puts so much pressure on appearances, particularly in environments like gyms, which can feel overwhelmingly geared towards one kind of body image. But your presence at the gym is just as valid as anyone else’s, and it’s important to remind yourself that this journey is about you.

The hardest part is often taking that first step through the door, so credit to you for having the initiative to begin. It’s completely normal to feel nervous about starting at the gym and many people worry they’ll stand out or make mistakes. 

Remind yourself about why you want to go to the gym. Think about what you envision happening once you start your fitness journey and go consistently. What does the big picture look like for you? Shift your mindset from what you might lose to what you can gain. While there may be valid anxieties about starting something new, on the other side of that decision lie many exciting possibilities and outcomes.

If the thought of walking into a packed gym feels overwhelming, consider going at off-peak times if your schedule allows. For example, an hour before closing or during mid-morning on weekdays can be quieter, with fewer people, often filled with older people who keep to themselves. It’s a good way to ease yourself in without feeling like there’s an audience and also shifts the focus from appearances to working hard and staying healthy for the long run. Remember, it’s not about looking perfect or impressing anyone—people of all shapes and sizes are there for their own goals.

The reality is that many gym-goers, regardless of their size or fitness level, are often each other’s biggest supporters. Instead of being judged, you’ll likely find that people admire your commitment and effort. Many will be thinking “good for her” as they see you working on your fitness goals. You’ll find that gyms often build real communities, not cliques, and as you go more often, you’ll see people of all shapes, sizes, and abilities. The buff and fit gym-goers are often just a media perception as plenty of regular and plus-size people are there working on themselves too. In the end, it’s you versus you, and no one else’s journey should affect your confidence.

Another helpful approach when starting out could be to ask friends to recommend a gym that has a friendly and safe environment or tag along with a friend to their gym for support. This way you know that you will be in good hands or have a friendly face when you need reassurance. You can also try a smaller, local gym rather than a big chain, as the vibe can often be more relaxed and friendly, with a mix of people at different fitness levels.

When you arrive at the gym, ask a staff member to connect you with a trainer and mention you’re new to fitness. The trainer can give you a tour, show you how to use the equipment, and offer tips based on your goals. This initial guidance will help ease your anxiety and make you feel more comfortable.

A good way to ease into a gym routine is by starting with familiar equipment like the treadmill and watching others to learn how to use the machines. Classes with supportive and friendly groups can also help you feel more at ease. Not to mention, they can become “gym allies”—people who cheer you on and make the environment feel less isolating. You’ll find that most people are focused on their own workouts, making the gym feel less intimidating.

At the end of the day remember to do it for yourself. The truth is, most people are in the gym to better themselves, not to judge others. And if they notice you, it’s more likely they’ll be thinking about how inspiring it is to see someone putting in the work, not the negative thoughts you fear.

Finally, it’s important to enjoy what you’re doing. This journey is yours, so tailor it to what makes you feel good, energised, and motivated. And don’t hesitate to try home workouts if the gym still feels overwhelming. Online options like Leslie Walk, Amanah Fitness, Emi Wong workouts and Les Mills on demand can keep you on track when you can’t make it to the gym, or you just want a more private workout space.

May Allah (SWT) grant you the confidence and ease to overcome the anxieties you’re facing, and remember, this is your journey—take it at your own pace and celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.

Love + Duas,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.