We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salaam, I’m a Muslim woman who was born into Islam, I come from a very practising family and grew up with faith being a big part of my life. I would say over the past 5 years this declined a lot, I still wear hijab and fast etc but I feel like I’ve forgotten how to pray correctly, there are times I’m trying to pray and feel like the words slip from my memory. Coming from a practising family I find it hard to ask them because I feel a sense of shame. What advice would you give or resources could you share to help me learn to pray again and engage in a better understanding of the Quran and Islam generally? Thank you in advance for your advice I’m hoping this could help others that are struggling too and even reverts.

Maya Areem responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your struggles. It’s not easy to talk about feeling disconnected from the deen, especially when you come from a family that’s always been very practising. Many of us go through phases where our connection to prayer or certain aspects of our faith feels weak or distant, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. I agree that it can feel difficult to ask for help, but please know that you’re not alone in this. None of us are immune to moments of forgetfulness or spiritual fatigue. The very fact that you’re wearing hijab, fasting, and looking for ways to improve your prayer is a sign that despite everything, your heart is still in the right place. You’re on the right track just by wanting to come back to your prayers and understanding of the Qur’an.

I acknowledge that it can be intimidating to ask your family for help, especially when they are practising. But here’s the thing: we all need support, and even those individuals who appear to have it all together have struggled with doubts and uncertainties about certain aspects of their faith. If you’re not ready to talk to your family just yet, there are plenty of other ways to get back on track. 

The most important thing to remember is that Allah ﷻ knows your intentions, and He ﷻ sees the effort you’re making. He ﷻ is Al-Wadud, The Most Loving, and appreciates every step you take towards Him, no matter how small.

One way to begin reconnecting with Salah is to approach it like you would a conversation with a dear friend. Plan your day around it by blocking off Salah times in your calendar. When you are praying, imagine standing in front of Allah ﷻ and pouring your heart out about all your worries. If you find yourself struggling to remember the words, it’s okay to use a prayer guide as there’s no shame in using resources or small pocket guides as you pray.

Here are some useful resources that can help you in learning Salah again:

• Prayer Booklet: A step-by-step concise guide on Salah and how to pray, easy to reference when needed.
• Step-by-Step Guide to Prayer (Video): A clear visual guide to all the key actions in Salah.
• How to Perform All 5 Prayers: A full demonstration of how to perform the five obligatory prayers.
• My Prayer App: A helpful app with instructions, prayer times, and du’a guides.
• Prayer Guide: A simple guide to print and keep in front of you while praying.
• How to Recite Arabic Words in Salah: A series to help you correctly pronounce the Arabic recitations in prayer.
• Pillars: An app to calculate prayer times based on your location.
• Mosque-Finder: A website to locate the nearest mosque for prayer or study circles.

When it comes to the Qur’an, start small—don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to understand everything at once. Maybe read one verse a day and reflect on its meaning. There are great translations and tafsir (explanations) available online, particularly on Quran.com that break things down in simple terms, so you can get a feel for what Allah ﷻ is saying to you. You might also consider getting a Qur’an teacher or joining a class once a week or even once a month; having a routine can help with consistency. Another idea is to find a friend as an accountability partner—checking in on each other’s progress weekly and cheering each other on. And if you find it hard to concentrate or remember, it’s completely okay. Just take it easy, little by little, and please know that it’s okay to take your time. 

Narrated `Aisha,

Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, “Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little.” (Bukhari)

If you struggle with reading or understanding Arabic, I recommend checking out this article 7 Ways to Engage With the Qur’an if You Can’t Read or Understand Arabic. It offers practical tips to help you connect with the Qur’an in meaningful ways, regardless of language barriers.

You can also consider joining an online study circle or attending a local halaqah that could give you the space to feel supported. You’ll find that many people are likely going through similar experiences, and their companionship can remind you of the beauty of being on this path together. Whenever you struggle with low iman, you can also listen to motivational lectures online that can soften your heart and turn towards Allah ﷻ by Yasmin Mogahed, Maryam Amir or Dr. Haifaa Younis, whenever you have some free time.

Remember, you are turning back to a Lord who has promised mercy and forgiveness. Allah ﷻ says in the Qur’an,

“Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins.1 He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’” (Surah Az-Zumar, 39:53)

This verse is a comforting reminder that no matter how distant we feel, Allah’s ﷻ door is always open, welcoming us with infinite mercy.

Please be gentle with yourself during this time. You’re not defined by what you think you’ve forgotten; rather, you’re defined by your willingness to return, to seek, and to reconnect. May Allah ﷻ make it easy for you, fill your heart with tranquillity, and grant you strength. May He ﷻ surround you with His ﷻ light and mercy, guiding every step you take.

Love + duas,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.