We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya. I am the only daughter of my parents and have 2 older brothers. Over the years, my brothers have moved away, gotten busy with their lives and respective families and rarely visit us, nor do they provide any financial support to my parents. I, on the other hand, still live with them and provide all the physical, emotional, and financial support, which I am doing happily.

But I can’t help feeling apprehensive about the future from time to time. I keep thinking about inheritance division whenever the time comes, and how unfair it is that sons get double the share than daughters, even though my contribution towards my parents is far more than what they have ever provided. My brothers, mashaAllah, live very comfortably, have their own homes, etc., and I can’t even consider moving anywhere, as I don’t want to leave my parents alone. I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that Islamic inheritance rules seem to be so biased towards daughters and women in general. I don’t know how to bring this up or who to discuss it with without making it uncomfortable. Feeling very conflicted.

Maya Areem Responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Thank you for taking the time to write to us. I pray Allah grants you ease and a high reward for looking after your parents.

As outlined in Surah An-Nisa 4:11, sons do receive twice the share of daughters in inheritance. This can make many people feel that there is an unfairness in the ruling. This is also a common concern for many daughters, just like yourself, who are taking care of their parents physically, emotionally and financially, while their brothers step back. However, Islamic inheritance laws aren’t about valuing men over women; they’re about fairness and financial responsibilities

Tasnim Khalid, who specialises in Islamic wills and estate planning and led the Amaliah x Islamic Relief Wills & Inheritance Webinar, explains this well.  “The starting point in Islam is that our male counterparts have the duty to ensure that their female counterparts are looked after in accordance with the Sharia. So they have financial obligations towards us: my father, brother, husband, son — they all have financial obligations towards me.”

So the starting point is not privilege but duty. Male relatives such as fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons are obligated to provide for the women in their family. A man’s double share is tied to these responsibilities, while a woman’s wealth is fully her own, without the obligation of spending on parents, children, or household expenses. In practice, this means that what a woman inherits belongs entirely to her, while men are accountable for ensuring their female relatives are financially supported.

Tasnim shares an important reminder, “As women, there are certain things that men can’t do, such as bear children. There are times in our lives when we’re vulnerable and need that financial support. So Islam gives a bit more to the male counterparts so they can uphold their Islamic obligations of ensuring that their female family members are supported financially.”

The ruling is designed with this system in mind, although in practice, not all men live up to their financial obligations, and that’s when the rulings feel unfair. But it’s important to know that the system in Islam was created with flexibility to account for different family realities.

For example, there are no restrictions on lifetime giving. Parents are free to distribute their wealth however they wish while they are alive, so long as they are fit and well. They can gift more to the child who has given them greater care and support, or to one who may be in more need, but this must be done while the parties are alive. 

Family circumstances are also considered in estate planning and Islamic will writing. Sometimes a son is already financially secure, while a daughter may be struggling. In these cases, parents can choose to support the daughter more during their lifetime, or siblings may have open conversations within the family, where brothers agree to share their inheritance with their sister. It’s not always an easy conversation to bring up, but it can happen. A widowed daughter with young children, for instance, may be given the family home in her name to secure her future, even if her brothers will inherit more later. Similarly, a daughter facing financial hardship can be gifted more during her parents’ lifetime, while her well-off brother receives less. 

In other situations, a daughter may be the main breadwinner for the family, while a son struggles with addiction and isn’t able to manage money responsibly. In such cases, parents can gift the daughter a larger share to reflect the reality of who is providing stability. Some parents simply choose to support their daughters more while they are alive to ensure they are set up and secure.

It’s also important to remember that there are cases where women inherit the same as, or even more than, men. For example, a mother can sometimes receive a larger share than a father, depending on who else is alive at the time. 

In families with only daughters, the estate is divided according to the closest blood relative, which can sometimes extend to uncles or aunts. In one situation, an uncle was technically entitled to a share alongside his nieces, but because he was also their closest mahram, he chose to refuse it and took on their custody and care instead. The family then formalised this arrangement through a will trust, making sure the daughters were looked after and protected.

This really shows why having a will in place and having open, honest conversations is so important. By understanding who is entitled under Qur’anic guidelines and discussing the options with proposed beneficiaries, families can plan ahead, ensure fairness, and avoid misunderstandings. 

Tools like online inheritance calculators can also help, showing how shares change depending on who is alive, whether it’s only daughters, unmarried siblings, or other unique family situations. These examples remind us that the Islamic inheritance system isn’t rigid; it’s a framework designed to adapt to real families and their circumstances.

I understand that having such thoughts and feelings can be isolating. You’ve taken on a huge role in your parents’ lives, and it is natural to worry and plan for your future while you take care of them on your own. Unfortunately, this is a touchy topic for many families, and people attach feelings of shame and guilt to these conversations, when in fact it is an obligation upon every Muslim to have a will in place, no matter our age or health. (Bukhari)

Try asking your parents casually if they have wills in place (you can say you’re asking because of something you read about Islamic wills), or that you and your friends are considering writing your wills and if they’d like your help in doing theirs? Once you begin the process, you can chat to them about dividing their assets fairly. Most people only know about the initial split of inheritance, but they don’t realise there are other rulings too, like giving during your lifetime and the choice to bequeath up to one-third of your estate. These options help ensure balance and fairness depending on each family’s situation. 

You can also speak to someone who specialises in Islamic wills and inheritance, just to get clarity on what your family’s situation would look like. Sometimes having a clearer picture can ease your anxieties about the future and help you plan things better for yourself. This can also better equip you to approach a conversation with your parents about maintaining a balance, whenever you are ready. 

You can read our article Writing an Islamic Will and Understanding the Rules of Inheritance in Islam for more details.

Finally, give yourself credit for what you’re doing. By supporting your parents so fully, you’re embodying ihsan in your role as a daughter. Ultimately, your reward lies with Allah, and nothing you do for His sake is lost.

May Allah soften your family’s hearts and make these conversations easy for you all and grant you a future filled with barakah. Ameen.

Love + Duas,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.