We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

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Salam Aunt Maya. I’m in my 30s with an older brother, and I’ve been thinking a lot about being prepared, especially when it comes to inheritance and making sure everything is done Islamically. The problem is, I have no idea how to bring this up with my parents. In our family, talking about death is a huge taboo, and I’m so scared they’ll think I’m being greedy or that I’m overstepping. I don’t want them to misunderstand my intentions, but I also don’t want to leave things uncertain for the future. How do I even start this conversation without upsetting them or coming across the wrong way? I’m lost and could use any advice you have.

Maya Areem Responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Your question reflects a deep sense of responsibility and love for your family, mashAllah. I can see you care about doing the right thing. It’s no small thing to want to ensure that your parent’s wishes and Allah ﷻ’s commands regarding inheritance are honoured.

It’s never easy to discuss inheritance and death in a family where those topics are sensitive and it’s natural to worry about how it might come across. However, your intention is rooted in care and obedience to Allah ﷻ, and that is a powerful starting point. In many cultures, inheritance often crops up after a person has passed and can sometimes lead to familial disagreements and difficulties in relationships. Initiating a conversation about it now can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure that things are aligned with Allah ﷻ’s guidance. 

Choosing the right moment for this discussion is crucial. Aim for a calm and private setting where you can talk without interruptions. If you have a good relationship with your brother, consider sharing your concerns with him first, and then approach your parents together. One way to start the conversation is to clarify your intentions. Let them know this isn’t about material gain but about fulfilling a religious responsibility. Try reciting Prophet Musa AS’s du’a before approaching your parents and ask Allah ﷻ’s help in guiding your conversation in the right way,

رَبِّ اشۡرَحۡ لِىۡ صَدۡرِىْ ۙ‏وَيَسِّرۡ لِىۡۤ اَمۡرِىْ ۙ‏وَاحۡلُلۡ عُقۡدَةً مِّنۡ لِّسَانِیْ ۙ‏يَفۡقَهُوۡا قَوۡلِیْ ‏

Rabbish rah lee sadree Wa yassir leee amree Wahlul ‘uqdatan milli saanee Yafqahoo qawlee

“My Lord! Uplift my heart for me, and make my task easy and remove the impediment from my tongue, so people may understand my speech.” (Surah Ta Ha 20:25-28)

You could begin by sharing a story about someone you know whose parents have started discussing writing an Islamic will. For example: “I was speaking to a friend recently, and her parents decided to draft their will to ensure it’s aligned with Islamic principles. They realised that if they didn’t, British law would automatically decide how their estate was distributed, which might not match what Allah ﷻ has commanded. It made me think about how important it is to plan for these things the right way. Have you and Dad ever thought about something like this?”

You can also put on an Islamic lecture while sitting with them on inheritance which discusses how Allah ﷻ has laid out clear instructions in the Qur’an on inheritance, and Muslims must ensure these rules are followed. Allah ﷻ stresses how significant this is and warns us,

“These ˹entitlements˺ are the limits set by Allah. Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted into Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there forever. That is the ultimate triumph! But whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and exceeds their limits will be cast into Hell, to stay there forever. And they will suffer a humiliating punishment.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:13-14)

This is a weighty reminder that inheritance is not just a legal matter but a deeply spiritual one. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also said, “Whoever tries to avoid giving the inheritance to his heirs, Allah ﷻ will deprive him of his inheritance in Paradise on the Day of Resurrection.” (Ibn Majah)

If your parents seem open to the idea, you could suggest involving a trusted Islamic scholar or resource to guide the process, and then a practical next step could be exploring Islamic Relief’s free will service. Maybe even leading by example—writing your own will and going through the process—could be a practical way to start. It’s a step we should all take, regardless of age, as part of fulfilling our responsibilities as Muslims. You might say, “I saw that Islamic Relief is offering free Islamic wills at the moment. You might want to check their service out.” 

By initiating a conversation about having wills in place as an act of worship to Allah ﷻ, you can emphasise that your concern comes from love and care for them. You can also be honest in expressing that you feel stressed about this and want to ensure it’s done right. Helping them understand that your focus is on their spiritual welfare, rather than the specifics of inheritance, may encourage them to take this matter seriously and appreciate the sincerity behind your concern. 

Your parents might feel uncomfortable or dismissive at first. Be patient and continue to make du’a for Allah ﷻ to soften their hearts.  Navigating sensitive conversations like this requires patience and persistence, but even starting the discussion is an act of Ihsan (excellence in character). By planting the seed for this conversation, you’re taking a meaningful step toward fulfilling your responsibility as a daughter and a believer.

And of course, make du’a for ease and understanding. The Qur’an reminds us that when our intentions are sincere and rooted in taqwa, Allah ﷻ will ease our path, “And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make a way out for them.” (Surah At-Talaq 65:2)

May Allah ﷻ guide you, grant you wisdom and bless your family with clarity, understanding, and unity. Ameen.

Love + duas,

Aunt Maya

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If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.