We know that Amaliah is like a Big Sis and sometimes our DMs have been filled with requests for advice on a range of life issues including relationships, friendships or work troubles.

We have started a new segment where we field dilemmas from the community and answer them as frankly as we can with love, truth and honesty.

Need some advice on a dilemma? Send them all here!

---

Salam, Aunt Maya. Recently, I have been feeling this deep fear of dying and leaving my kids motherless. I’m a single mum, and my eldest, who’s neurodivergent, requires extra care. The thought of what would happen to both my kids if I wasn’t here constantly weighs on me. My parents have both passed away, and I’m not very close to my extended family, so the worry intensifies. I try to pray, but I just feel overwhelmed and not very connected to Allah. I keep pushing thoughts of death away because I fear that if I allow myself to think about it, it will consume me and make it even harder to function. How can I manage this fear and find a sense of peace, especially without the support I wish I had?

Maya Areem Responds:

Asalamu Alaykum,

Firstly, I want to acknowledge the incredible strength and dedication you demonstrate as a single mother. I also recognise how heavy the burden of your fear is, especially in the face of such daunting worries. It is not easy to navigate these feelings without a strong support system, and I want to hold space for how difficult that must be.

Your concern for your children clearly shows how deeply you love and care for them. May Allah ﷻ reward you for the love and dedication you pour into your role as a mother. 

This fear of death is something so many of us face, and it’s a natural response when we’re responsible for those we care about. It’s a sign of how deeply you care for your children and want the best for them. Islam teaches us that this feeling can be a reminder of our connection to Allah and our ultimate purpose, but I know that when fear feels this intense, it can create distance instead. You’re doing your best, even when it feels like you’re struggling, and Allah ﷻ sees that.

I also want to remind you that your children are ultimately in Allah’s care. I know how difficult it is to let go of that worry, but Allah loves your children even more than you do, and He will never leave them unprotected. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Allah is more kind to His servants than a woman is to her child.” (Sahih Muslim)

The One who placed mercy in a mother’s heart must be even more merciful than her. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said,

“Allah is more merciful to His slaves than the most merciful of mothers to her child, for the One Who made her merciful must be more merciful than her.”

When the fear becomes too much, calling on Him as Al-Wakeel, the Ultimate Trustee, can bring some comfort. You can make the following dua for trusting Allah regarding all your matters completely:

يَا حَيُّ يَا قَيُّوْمُ ، بِرَحْمَتِكَ أَسْتَغِيْثُ ، أَصْلِحْ لِيْ شَأْنِيْ كُلَّهُ ، وَلَا تَكِلْنِيْ إِلَىٰ نَفْسِيْ طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ

Ya Hayyu ya Qayyum, bi-rahmatika astaghith, aslih li sha’ni kullah, wa la takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ayn

“O The Ever Living, The Sustainer of all; I seek assistance through Your mercy. Rectify all of my affairs and do not entrust me to myself for the blink of an eye.” (Hisn al-Muslim)

I also encourage you to read, listen to, and reflect on the daily morning and evening adhkar, as they are a true protection for us all—including your children. These supplications serve as a shield and a source of comfort, reminding us that Allah is always watching over us and those we love. It’s a simple but powerful reminder to leave things in His hands when we feel powerless. It’s okay to take this one step at a time. 

When making du’a or praying feels heavy, even something as small as whispering “Ya Allah, help me” is enough. He knows what’s in your heart, even when you can’t find the words. It’s not about how much you do but about the intention behind it, and that intention is clear in the way you’re reaching out for help now. You’re not meant to carry this alone, and you’re not failing by feeling this way.

I also want to gently remind you not to let this fear take away from the present. Don’t forget to enjoy life together with your kids, hug them, laugh with them, and cherish the moments you have. Yes, it’s important to plan for the future, but don’t let the fear of what might happen stop you from living fully with them now.

While thinking about death can feel paralysing, making small, practical preparations for your children’s future can help ease your anxiety. For instance, you might start by finding someone your kids are comfortable with and asking them to be their guardian if something were to happen to you. If it feels manageable, consider writing a will, and document everything in writing, from guardianship plans to care instructions, to ensure your wishes are clear and legally protected.

These kinds of things don’t take the fear away completely, but they might give you some peace of mind that you’re doing all you can to protect your children. It allows you to do your part while trusting the rest to Allah.

If you feel ready, reaching out to someone—a therapist or a counsellor who understands your cultural and religious context could help you process these fears in a safe space. They can offer tools to manage anxiety and help you find ways to feel more grounded. 

Even talking to someone in your community who understands what you’re going through—might help. You don’t have to carry all of this alone. Even if your family support is limited, others in the community may be willing to step in, whether that’s through friendships, parent support groups, or your local masjid. If there’s even one person you trust, opening up to them could lighten your emotional load. 

You’re doing so much and Allah sees every sleepless night, every moment of worry, every tear you shed for your children. I pray that He grants you ease, fills your heart with peace, and surrounds your children with His protection and love. Ameen. You don’t have to have it all figured out, and you’re not alone, even when it feels like it.

Love + duas,

Aunt Maya

---

If you would like some wisdom from Aunt Maya, send in your problems here! Please note Aunt Maya may consult the opinion of others from time to time and ask the Amaliah community for their advice too. Aunt Maya is not a licensed therapist or mental health professional.