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We asked our audience to share their love stories, tales of chance meetings, intentional steps, and everything in between. What came back was a mosaic of experiences, each unique yet equally exciting. Some spoke of stolen glances that turned into lifetimes together, others of introductions carefully arranged by family, and many of friendships that slowly unfolded into love.

This is our sixth story.

Please note that these stories are not for giving advice and are about documenting the lives of Muslim women who got married 🧡

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Sarah & Isa

How did you and your husband first meet?

Offline.

Can you expand on your first meeting? 

My husband is my mother’s cousin, so we’d met many times, but since I lived in the UAE my whole life, it was only during vacations, and nothing serious. In 2019, I moved to Pakistan, and we met at the airport when he came to pick me up. We consider that as our first proper “meeting.”

What was your first impression?

That he’s just so wow.

How many times did you meet in person before marrying?

Since he was my sisters’ legal guardian in Pakistan, and he used to take us around for whatever work/outing we needed, we’d obviously met a lot, but 99% of the time, someone was with us, and there were no intentions for marriage in the beginning.

Was your husband your first serious and only relationship? 

No.

How old were both of you when you met?

I was 22, he was 41.

How long after the meeting did you get married?

2 years.

When looking for a partner, what was the one thing you were looking for?

Someone who understands me, because all my life I’ve been severely misunderstood and not been able to fit in with my immediate family. Also, someone who would actually be there and be mature about how to go about a relationship. 

Can you tell us your story of how you met in your own words? 

My husband and I got talking in 2017. He’s my mom’s cousin, but he was adopted as a baby, so please no cousin-marriage-offspring-in-danger haters here. 

Anyways, he was my younger sisters’ legal guardian while they were studying in Pakistan, and I was in Dubai. A year later, I moved to Pakistan as well to complete uni, and he was there. Over time, we bonded over our mutual interest in writing, photography, and some other things. At the time, there was no romantic inclination as such, though I may have had a tiny crush on him from the get-go. 

A year and a half, and some traumatic experiences (on my end) later, on one fine night, he started ranting about how people won’t accept us, and how there would be negative talk etc. You see, my husband is 18 years my senior (don’t worry, I was well above legal age and there was no “grooming” here), he was divorced twice previously, and has 2 kids from one of his previous marriages.

Being from a culture where all this is seen as taboo, it was quite a hurdle to get married. Our parents had no issue, but everyone else around us did. 

We made it past all that, and today we’ve been married for almost 2.5 years and have a 4-month-old baby. Our life is by no means perfect, but we love each other very deeply, even though most days I’m annoyed at him leaving his dishes unwashed at times or leaving his clothes on the floor. He always tries to rectify his mistakes, or whatever issues there may be, and he works hard to provide for all of us. Most days I feel like I’m the older spouse, but oh well. 

How did you know you would get married to your current husband? Did you know?

I didn’t know I’d be getting married to him. The age difference, plus other factors, were things that would have made the elders say no, but they weren’t too much of a barrier when the time came.

What are three red flags (concerns) Muslim women should look out for?

Someone who turns back on his words.

Someone who blames you for everything i.e. gaslighting.

Narcissistic behaviour.

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Narcissism in Men: The Red Flags You Need to Watch Out For

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What are three green flags (good qualities) Muslim women should look out for?

Someone willing to change after making mistakes 

Someone trying to do more so that life is happy.

Someone who understands your love language. 

What advice would you give a single Muslim woman looking to get married?

Don’t look to marry someone who’s all talk, and has absolutely no action to accompany all that big talk. Also, don’t try to be the person who makes themselves little to accommodate the other person. You are a person, and your thoughts, feelings, wants/needs matter too.

Are you still married to this partner?

Yes.

Is there anything else you would like to add, or you think is important for us to know, or you would like to add?

• The taboos that society refuses to acknowledge (divorce, kids from previous marriage, etc.) need to be discussed and normalised. Divorced individuals can absolutely get married again, and to a previously unmarried individual, too.
• Age is not a factor in refusing someone, especially if two individuals are compatible. 
• Family interference will cause unrest at times, and you both need to figure out how to overcome that.